Here By Me
by 7mellifluous7
Summary: When Bella was little she was torn away from her life & moved away. Now back in Forks, she runs into her childhood bestfriend. After 9 yrs she still remembers his warm skin & all the nights they spent together. Will life lead back to him? Lemons later on!
1. Inevitable

**This story as a whole, was inspired by the song "Here By Me" by 3 Doors Down. Its pretty sad and beautiful, just like the way I want this story to be. **

**Every chapter HAS been written as I listen to a song repeatedly. It sets the mood and makes my write better. So please youtube each song at the beginning of each chapter and fall into the magic :)**

**The story as it goes will become very emotional and there will be a quite bit of drama and its plot line for this story is probably my favorite. So, im so excited and anxious to get it out there for you guys! I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I do and please review!**

**BTW: If any of you guys have read For you, I will, I have information updated on my profile about it. Thanks.**

**Disclaimer: **I dont own twilight.

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**Chapter One: Inevitable (Inspired by Inevitable by Anberlin)**

Bella's P.O.V

_**"Do you remember when we were just kids"**_

When I was a little girl, I use to sneak out of my room and open the slide door that lead to the roof where our balcony was. My mother and father, with stern looks on there faces, always told me it was dangerous to be up there all by myself and that I should never try it.

But when I knew they were safe and sound asleep, I would grab my teddy bear, Moby, two blankets and I would quickly escape out without a sound from my small feet.

The midnight air use to make the braids in my auburn brown hair sway one way and another while I waited. I'd lay on the large white lawn chairs we had up there, and cover up with my blanket, holding onto Moby as hard as I could.

When I was up there, I often did feel fear. I felt that if I stood too near the edge of the railings I could just fall over. I worried that some intelligent huge bear would find its way up the side house stairs that lead up to the roof and eat me. Sometimes I was simply scared of my parents them selves, coming out and screaming at me like they did to each other. The goosebumps would crawl on my arms and the small hairs on my back would rise. I would be just like that, shivering and anxious, until Jacob came out to find me.

I would lay down and look up at the sky that Washington state had to offer. It always looked soooo big and the stars looked so bright that sometimes all Jake and I ever talked about was someday being able to touch them.

_Jacob._

He was a year younger then me but he always acted like he wasn't. Sadly, we didn't go to the same elementary school but some how he always knew how to take care of me there when I was being teased, as if he did. I didn't have a big brother....but Jacob protected me and meant more to me then a brother ever could.

And for some strange reason, I alwayds did need protecting.

Since mom and dad were always so wrapped up in each others wrongs, I never could tell them anything. Some nights I would spend away whispering to Moby that we were going to be okay. That mommy and daddy would never hurt each other....or me. The screaming and bickering that came from their bedrooms would terrify Moby and me until we were fast asleep, dreaming about a better and happier family, like the ones I always saw on T.V.

But since Jake was often around, he was the one who who I told everything to. Some night he would hold me until I cried myself to sleep, other night we would laugh and talk about absolutely nothing and everything.

I could tell Jake just about anything and he would hold my hand and listen so intently to everything I had to say with a look of pure sincerity.

When I was with Jake I always did feel safe. In the small family I was growing up with, I often felt as if I were a tower of marbles. Waiting for a part of me to slip and just fall over. So the warm feeling of reassurance wasnt something common in my life.

I found myself wanting to be with Jake all the time.

I remember that night when I heard small footsteps coming up the house side stairs, and I looked away from the dark sky and set Moby on the ground softly. By the pace and rhythm of the steps, I knew it was Jake and made space for him on the lawn chair. Both of our figures could easily fit onto the lawn chair if we laid on it right. I arranged myself higher so I could see him once he reached the top steps to the balcony gate.

There he was like I always remembered. His long black hair fell on his shoulders, his eyes bright on his childish face and his grin always visible for me to see. He wore dark colored jeans and a warm colored t shirt and simply black sandals.

He smiled at me and made his way to the lawn chair without looking away from my face.

There were no 'Hello's' nor greetings. I just smiled back and lifted the blanket so he could slide in next to me and cover up from the warm breeze. He laid down next to me, his head a little higher then mine so that when I looked at him I had to look up. For a 7 year old he was really tall.

Silently he wrapped us both in the fleece blanket securely and searched for my hand under the layers. His warm fingers intertwined with my cold ones automatically. I felt a small smile play on my lips and even then, I knew Jacob was always going to be my best friend for a very long time, no matter what happened.

_**"cardboard boxes took us miles from what we would miss"**_

We started to look up at the sky together, silently. This was always the same routine. We would quietly drift away, finding comfort in each others existence. And right before sleep caught us, the talking would begin.

His small red lips bled words that were like a melody to my novice heart.

"How was your day Bells" he asked me, interrupting me from my drifting thoughts.

My insides seemed to fall, when I started to think about how my day had been. I felt a familiar sadness play at the surface of my chest.

I sighed, found my voice and spoke.

"Mike pulled my hair again during recess. He kept saying that if I told Ms. Luna that he would take Moby away from me. But then before I left school he said my hair felt nice and soft and that it smelt good." I told him. Hoping he could help me clear the confussion about my boy troubles.

In remembrance I quickly unlocked my fingers from Jake's and reached to the side of the chair where Moby laid on the ground. The soft fake fur caressed my fingers and I placed him between Jacob and I. I looked up at Jacob to see if he minded but he just smiled at me and nodded.

"Don't worry Bells." he said reassuringly.

_Bells. _He was the only one who called me that. And when he did, it did sound like bells playing in the distance. I giggled to myself at my little epiphany and Jacob just looked down at me, with a curious look. He chose not to ask, probably remembering all the times I did act quite wierd. I noticed Jacob never seemed to mind. I dont think he cared that I wasn'y like everyone else.

I just wish everyone was like Jake. I wish Mike treated me like Jake did.

"I will protect you from Mike." he said with a serious tone even for a toddler. I began to worry.

"But he is a big boy, Jake. I don't want you getting hurt. He's mean" I responded, looking for his hands to hold once again. I didn't want Jacob getting hurt. But I also didn't want Mike getting hurt either. 'cause deep down inside, I knew I liked Mike too. And even more deep deep down, I knew Mike liked me too.

"Bella, I'm a big boy too. And I rather me get hurt then you get hurt Bella. I promise Mike will not hurt you anymore" He said with a matter of fact tone that made me look up at his determined face. I felt instant comfort and warmth.

He was right, but I wondered how he would do it.

Being the child I was I didn't press the conversation.

"Okay" I said. Soon enough my eyes closed and I fell into a deep sleep in his arms, with Moby between us.

That next morning I woke up in my bed. Remembering Jacob always woke us up at 5 in the morning so he could go back home to La Push on his bike, and I could sneak into bed again.

I know what your thinking, how could a child be wondering around on his bike from the reservation to Forks, so late at night.

But back then the population in forks was only about 875. La Push was only a 20 minute bike ride and some how there were never criminals or rapist, or robberies in a 70 mile radius from our lands. Thinking back on it now, Jacob and I were reckless. But nothing did ever happen to him.

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Jacob did keep his promise though. He did protect me. More than my father ever did. More then my mother ever could. He especially kept his promise on April 16, 1996

Everyone knew I had a crush on Mike. Rumors in elementary school were just as bad as they were in high school.

It was a typical day. Angela and I would be playing "double double this this" and Mike would always stare at me in my frilly school dress and tell me how pretty I looked when no one was watching.

All the girls that I knew then kept on telling me that he was cute and that maybe I should ask mike to be my boyfriend.

At first I wanted to say no. After all, mom always said that i was too young to have a boyfriend. But i didn't care. In the end, Mom didn't have to find out.

So one day I did ask Mike to be my boyfriend. It had been such a sunny day for the beginning of spring and recess had seemed like the perfect time to ask him. My braids were done prefectly by my mother and my school dress had been just dried. I knew I smelt like Downey detergent. And who didnt love that smell??

I walked over to him by the jungle gym where he and his friends always played and I just asked him, despite of how nervous I was.

_**"Schoolyard conversations taken to heart"**_

"Mike....will you be my..ah..boyfriend" I asked, shuffling my feet beneath me. My hands shook a little from how nervous I was but I kept my eyes on his face determined to hide that. The smile that he had on his face disappeared once he processed the words that I said. The boys that were behind him instantly started laughing at him squirming.

"ooh looks like Bella loveeees Mike. haha. Mike your ganna get cooties!" Mike's best friend Eric shouted over the building crowd.

Mike looked their way and flinched at their chants.

I was embarrassed and outraged because even I knew cooties didn't exist. I hoped that Mike wasn't like his friends. I hoped that he would be nice to me and tell them the truth that he liked me too.

He looked down at his shiny school shoes and after a long time he glanced deeply into my eyes. I could still hear the humiliating chants behind him, but the words that he spoke that moment felt like a shout and everything else was ignored.

"I don't like you Bella. You are way too girly for me. First of all you fall all over the place". He said looking down at my legs.

I glanced down to my shins, where everyone was looking at now. There were lots of scrapes and purple bruises on my pale skin that proved how right he was. My heart sunk in my tiny chest.

Tears wanted to emerge from my eyes but i kept them in as he kept talking.

"You don't even like football and you only have one friend" He said, pointing an accusing finger at Angela.

I was so hurt at what he said and I felt my first crush, well, crush me.

"I ha-have friends" I told him, but my voice was soft and weak. And I did have more friends, I thought as I looked towards the group of girls who earlier had encouraged me to ask him out in the first place. Glancing at them I could clearly see that they were all laughing and ridiculing me because of my first rejection. Maybe he was right....I didn't have friends.

The tears in my eyes became heavy and threatening. And I wish Jacob were there to protect me like he said.

"Bella and Mike, sitting in the tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" The kids sang out as I blushed scarlet feeling trapped and stupid. I looked around, anxious to fin an escape. And then I saw Jacob. Like an angel, he was standing by the school gate waving me over. My heart raced and I screamed out Jacobs name in delight and relief.

"Jacob!"

I was about to sprint over to him when I felt a rough hand on my small shoulder. Impatient and overwhelmed I looked back to see whose it was and I saw Mike Newton looking at me angrily, as his figured towered over me.

I instantly got scared. He looked like he wanted to.......punch me....

"This is all your fault Bella." he said, looking down at me with anger. His eyebrows were crinkled together as his hands were folded on his chest. He looked scary.

I wanted to run to Jacobs arms and just forget about this crappy school. But wasn't Jacob suppose to be in school too?

Then suddenly Mike unlocked his arms and pushed me so hard that I lost my balance pretty quickly. I heard people gasp as I hit the floor with a hard thud. I heard Angela scream from behind me as my head hit on something hard. Instantly there was a pain that rocked through my scull making me cry out in pain. My hands flew to my head where the pain throbbed.

The tears came to my eyes as I felt a warm liquid ooze out of my head. I closed my eyes quickly. Why did it feel like suddenly everything felt like it was spinning?

"I will kill you!" I heard a familiar warm outraged voice.

"Oh God.. shes bleeding, Mike!" Eric's whiny voice yelled.

_Oh God...I was bleeding...? _

"I will fucking kill you!" Jacob screamed again, His voice loud and panting.

Some how he was really near now and I opened my eyes desperately trying to find my best friend.

My vission was blurry but my eyes found him just in time to see him ram his knuckles into Mike's nose. As fast as it came, I heard a loud crunching sound and instantly the dizzy and nauseous feeling grew in the pit of my tummy.

I wished that I didn't have to see that.....!

"Ahhh! Owww" Mike yelled out in pain. As he doubled over clutching his nose. I closed my eyes remembering my own.

_What is going on...._

"Ms. Luna, Ms. Luna! help. Bella and Mike are hurt!" Angela screamed in the distance. I could also hear other kids panicing and looking at the scene before them

I felt the warm liquid continue to ooze out of a cut on my head, and it made its way down my neck. The smell of blood continued to disorient me.

Mom was going to kill me for staining my dress. I shivered at the thought.

"Bella sweetie, open your eyes. S'okay, your safe now" Jacobs reassured me as I felt him close to me.

Instantly I opened my eyes and saw him kneeling over me.

His hair was in his face, his eyes twinkled with worry. The dark russet skin looked almost....pale.

He looked......

"Ja-jacob.." I called out. My voice sort of spent and exasperated.

"Yeah?"

"Your....sort of be-beautiful" I said, and smiled.

There was only silence as he looked at me frozen. Suddenly he then started to chuckle. His frame shook a little and his laugh drowned out Mikes bad curse words and every ones shuffles. I loved his laughter.

Jacob was beautiful. He was amazing. No one cared about me like he did. So when it came down to it, I couldn't help but to touch the plains of his face. My hands and fingers brushed his small cheek and for a moment I forgot the pain.

_**"And laughter took the place of everything we knew we were not"**_

His small laughter continued and when he finally grew quiet he looked at me with a weird expression as if expecting me to say "Just kidding". But that never came. I just kept admiring my hero's face.

"What, Bells? Have you trully lost it this time?" He asked, a small smile playing on his pouty lips.

I just shrugged but nodded, still laying on the ground with a throbbing pain in my head.

"Bella! Mike!.......And you! Wait...who are you?!" Ms. Luna screamed as she rushed over to us, interrupting my conversation with Jacob, and reminding the small hell I was in.

"I think you hit your head pretty hard when you fell" Jacob whispered as Ms. Luna got closer. He held my hand as she came to help me.

But the truth is, I think I hit my head pretty hard when I fell for Jacob that day. I was only 8 years old.

_**"I wanna break every clock**_  
_**The hands of time could never move again**_  
_**We could stay in this moment (stay in this moment)**_  
_**For the rest of our lives**_  
_**Is it over now hey, hey, is it over now"**_

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**REVIEWS! REVIEWS! :) What did you think?? Please let me know. Thanks a lot for reading the first chapter and I promise an update is coming soon - 7serene7**


	2. Never Gonna Be Alone

**So I know I just posted this story up yesterday but I'm just so excited that I couldn't help but update! I know that beginning might feel a bit slow but I promise that it'll get better. Scouts honor :)**

**I do apologize if you find errors you have no idea how many times I tried editing on my document manager and every single time I fully edit it and i press save, all of my editing doesn't save. I'm quite frustrated!**

**Anyway, sadly I only got two reviews, but hey! I'm still thankful. Though I am very happy to know that a big handful of people added this story to their story alert list :) Thank you guys. Well enjoy!**

**Pls review :)**

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Chapter Two : Never Gonna be Alone (Inspired by "Never Gonna Be Alone" by Nickelback

_**"Time, is going by, so much faster than I,  
And I'm starting to regret not spending all of it with you"**_

Jacob's P.O.V

Im not sure how I ended up in Charlies police car. But this wasn't the way I had always imagined it happening. Though I admit it sure felt nice. I liked the feeling and I thought maybe I should become a cop so I can protect people or something.

I looked at Bella's dad and saw that he kept looking over at me as if expecting me to do or say something. I wasn't sure of anything myself so I just remained silent at least up until we crossed one of the three street lights in Forks.

I was more scared then fascinated 'cause I knew I was in a load of trouble. I didn't skip school today, because it was a native American holiday, but I did break someones nose. Hmm I think Quil and Embry will love to hear about that.

Charlie was definitely going to tell my Pops, Billy. I just hope that the punishment wasn't so bad. In the end I don't mind so much. I got to help Bella today, once again. That big Mike Newton wanted to hurt her, but i set him straight, I thought, smiling.

I realised that I loved protecting Bella. I loved that she let me protect her. This simply made my smile just grow bigger.

Charlie looked down at me over and over again with the same unsure expression.

"You know your on trouble kid, right?" he asked. The grin fell of my face and I froze.

"Yupp." I said popping the "P". He just looked at me and nodded with that unsure expression.

"How in the world does Billy let you go out by yourself Jacob...I mean I know its safe around here, believe me, I would know, but your what 7 ??? I'm not so sure if you should even be crossing the street by yourself". I wanted to laugh but that would probably be disrespectful. I managed to hold it in. If only Charlie knew how often I traveled to his house at night.

"I'm about to be 8, Charlie. And well Mom and Dad always say I dont act my age half the time, so......" I let my sentence trail off and turned to look straight out the wind shield, keeping my eyes glued to the red and white ambulance we were following.

I sighed.

Somewhere inside it, Bella, was getting treated. I could only imagine how much she probably wanted me there. I myself wasn't so fond of leaving her alone either.

Charlie grunted but a small smile played on his lips. He kept his eyes on the lonely road. I then noticed there were no cars going in the opposite direction. Just another day in the small town of Forks.

"I guess your like my Bella, huh? No wonder she loves you. You and Bella can be such old women sometimes." he said. We both laughed together at the last part. Maybe he was right. But looking at the dashboard I saw it that it was five past One...and oh man i missed Power Rangers again!

-----

"Jacob" she whispered.

_**"From this moment on"**_

"I want Jacob to come with me, mom." I heard Bella say, this time loud enough so all the doctors could hear too. From outside the room, I didnt hear any doctors deny her anything so I figured it was okay. I heard the bed squeak and I looked inside the room just in time to see Renee bent down over her daughters hospital bed. She put her hand on Bella's small shoulder and gave her a wary look.

"Are you sure, honey? Jacob is just a boy. Do you think he'll want to sit with you through that?" She asked her.

Bella took a moment to think about it...maybe she was imagining me becoming grossed out. Of course, I couldn't let her think that so soon enough I walked into to room letting myself known.

"I'd love to go, Bella!" I said, walking fast towards her, anxious to get near her by the bed. Her whole face lit up at the idea of me being with her, and even though she wasn't showing it, I had a feeling she was scared. I made my way past her mom and sat next to her on the bed.

There was a knock on the door and Renee moved off the bed to speak to Charlie. I realised he didn't look so happy and once Renee stepped out side the room we could hear their loud whispers lashing out at each other.

"Where is Bella's paper work, Charlie?! They've been asking for it and I told you to bring it" she whispered.

We both froze and strained to listen to what they were saying.

"Me?! I told you I couldn't do it. I just came here straight from the station. Do you not listen to ANYTHING I say?" Charlie responded.

"Oh please Charlie! Your the one who never listens. If you did maybe Bella wouldn't be here!" She whispered back, but their bickering was loud enough for us to hear.

Bella's breathing slowly began to hitch.

"My fault? Are you fucking insane? What the hell does this have to do with me listening?"

"I told you we should have sent her to a private school! But noooooo, you just wanted her to go to school with everyone else" Renee said back.

"Renee listen to yourself. What kind of excuse is this, for you to try and fight with me? You just love to argue don't you? You just always think its my fault."Charlie said, their whispers loud, taunting and fading as they walked off.

The room seemed to darken.

We were pretty much alone now, except for the nurses going in and out of the pale room. She didn't say anything so I just took the time to hold her hand, which I could see had been playing with the hem of her gown.

_**"**__**if you ever feel like letting go**__**"**_

"Its my fault Jake" She said, her voice small and sad. "Its my fault that all of this happened and now mommy and daddy are fighting" Her eyes looked into mine and I could see that any moment now the tears were going to fall.

"It is not your fault Bella. I promise you, nothing is ever your fault. Your beautiful Bella! Nothing that you do is ever wrong" I told her. She looked unsure for a second but slowly the smile snuck on to her lips.

My hand was a lot bigger then hers, and it got lost once I enveloped it. At the small gesture she looked up at me. Her eyes were distant but soft and then she smiled at me. My heart seemed to fly a little bit and I looked up to where her hair would normally be cascading. Instead I saw a big white bandage wrapped around her head holding her hair in place.

I couldn't help but realize that Bella looked breakable.

Which reminded me of something Sam once told me not too long ago when he and Leah got in a fight after their junior high spring dance.

"Girls are all the same." He said, huffing and puffing as he stomped into my house. "And don't you ever forget it" he said as he slammed the door.

I had no idea what he was talking about.

But Bella sure didn't look like any of the girls I knew. She instead looked like one of those white porcelain dolls that my mom and my twin sisters, Rachael and Rebbecca, collect.

Bella even reassembled the dolls with her vivid bright pink cheeks. She was so pretty and she definitely did didn't look anything like my sisters.

She had light brown hair, while Rachael and Rebbecca had jet black hair. Bellas eyes were like chocolate shakes, while you couldnt even tell where my sisters pupils started.

I looked down at Bella's lips, which she was currently biting on. They werent so full like my sisters, but I had never seen such a dark natural shade of red on a girl that wasn't lip stick.

Ick. both my sisters spent hours in the morning putting that on. I hope Bella never put that stuff on.

I continued to hold hands with Bella in silence, while she stared out a window, until a nurse came in to talk to Bella. Her hair was tied up and she had a nice bright smile on her face.

"So Isabella, have you ever gotten stitches before?" she asked in a high pitch voice as if we were 3 years old. Bella looked away from the window and just shook her head and smiled though it looked kind of forced.

The nurse sat down, jotted somethings down and explained things to her. Bella just nodded and shook her head in all the necessary places.

Finally The nurse reassured her that it was going to be okay and that the doctors were ganna move her soon. She gathered her stuff and prepared to leave.

The nurse was almost out the door, clip board in hand, when finally she spoke up for the first time.

"Is it okay if Jacob comes with me?" she asked the nurse softly. Her voice trembled a bit. I secretly crossed my fingers.

The lady looked at me and gave us a big smile and nodded. "Yes, I dont think Doctor Cullen would mind if your friend goes with you."

and with that, I smiled at the nurse one last time, murmured a thank you and then she left. We didn't see her again.

Bella and I were alone once again and I looked at her carefully. She was back to staring out the window where the occasional bird would fly by. Her forehead was creased and her eyes were lost.

_**"I won't let you fall..."**_

"Don't be afraid sweetie. I'm here" I told her, giving her hand a small squeeze in emphasis.

Her eyes slightly fluttered as she looked away from the window and into my eyes closely. Her brown eyes looked wide and big on her pale little face.

"How come you always know how I feel, Jake?" she asked. I just shrugged and opened my mouth to mutter an answer when a tall, really pale, handsome man walked through the door. He was captivating but his eyes were the ones that caught me off guard. They were a dark vivid gold.

Something about him was...off.

I think Bella and I were staring. Dad once told me that it was rude to stare. But I couldn't help it.

He just looked like one of those secretly hidden bad guys that the Ninja Turtles always cought. I tightened my grip on Bella's hand and she returned the gesture just as much. I looked away from the Doctor and noticed Bella looking at me.

I nodded at her and smiled at her raised eye brow.

We were thinking the same thing.

_What a wierdo...._

"It's okay" I whispered, knowing only she could hear me. I searched her face for any signs of comfort. But all I could see was sadness and silent lost screams.

_**"Never gonna be alone!"**_

Well hello you guys" He said, looking around for adults but not finding any, he settled on us. "

"You ready Ms. Swan?" he asked Bella, coming over to her bed. I squeezed Bella's hand once more and then released it as I got up to give Doctor Cullen space.

He unlocked the wheels on Bella's hospital bed and pushed it out the door.

"We're going to do this down the hall, is that okay Ms. Swan?"

We both looked at her, awaiting her response and once again, she just nodded. Dr. Cullen then looked at me and with a huge white grin he told me to follow him.

Like a a baby duckling I followed the Doctor pushing Bella into an almost vacant room. It was really dim and empty. He put her bed against a wall and started to put a pair of latex gloves on his flawless white hands.

I took the time to go sit on the edge of Bella's bed and kept my eyes on her face. She looked around and slightly shuddered.

Being in there made my skin crawl too.

"Promise you wont leave?" she asked, clinging on to the sleeve of my shirt tightly."

I grabbed her hand, raised it to my lips and pecked her wrist. The smooth skin felt good. I then brought it to my lap and rubbed circles on her palm.

"Of course not, Bella. As long as your Here By Me....you'll never ever be alone."

_**"I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone"**_

I said smiling to her

Soon enough Bella's bandage was being unwrapped and he was feeding her some kind of numbing drug.

"Are you scared, Ms. Swan" Doctor Cullen asked her, kindly.

She shook her head.

But I knew better and I took her hand in mine once more. Her eyes met mine and she refused to look away.

The weird Doctor was now bringing the needle to the bottom side of Bella's head. Soon enough the needle was going in and out of a small portion of Bella's flesh. I flinched repeatedly every time he brought the needle in and back out. But Bella didn't move one bit. She locked her eyes on mine and held my hand as if her life depended on it.

"We're okay, Bella." I said cupping her cheek. She just kept looking at me not being able to nod.

I knew for a fact that she was not in pain, but the tears still came out of her eyes. My small heart was breaking knowing she was in another type of pain.

Her parents were'nt even with her when she needed them. And I knew even though she wanted me here to, she also wanted Renee or Charlie.

"You know I like you more then Mike Newton, right?" she whispered after a moment. I began to think about this and finally I responded

"Yeah, I know. In the end. You love me more." I said, feeling as if I knew Exactly what I was talking about.

_**"And now, for as long as I can, I'm holding on with both hands"**__**  
**_

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After about a 15 minutes it was all over. The doctor was gone and I was sitting in the waiting room by myself.

My dad then walked in through the door

"Jacob Ephraim Black!" he shouted making me and the reception lady jump, seeing as we were the only ones left in the waiting room. Charlie was finishing signing some of Bella's paper work.

I groaned.

"I told you to stay home, Jake. Not wonder off in to Forks!" He said, taking a seat next to me. "Just because school on the Rez is closed, does not mean you can do as you please.

I nodded but remained silent. So he too the oppertunity to keep talking. But softer this time

"How is she?"

"Good" I replied, feeling a bit scared and guilty for scaring my father.

"I heard you helped her out today, with the kid who pushed her. Did you really?" he asked.

"Yup. And Im glad I did" I said with pride in my voice.

Instead of scowling like i expected, he smiled.

"Good. I know your mother and I are doing a good job at raising you."

We went home that afternoon. Everything went by normally from there. We had dinner and Dad didn't even once mention anything to Mom about the incident. Things seemed to fall back in order. And I looked at the clock and began counting down the minutes until I could see Bella again.

-----

That night, I grabbed my bike at exactly 11:36 and made my way down the side of the familiar highway.

The sky looked darker. The air felt a little colder this time. It whipped against my long hair as I rode and I began to wonder what Bella was doing.

I began to wonder if she was already waiting for me. I sure hoped so....

But, the closer I got, the more the wind blew. The more I traveled, the heavier I felt.

It felt as if it was rushing me to find her. I peddled harder, letting the wind penetrate my clothes and reach mys skin. My breathing was hard and tired but I kept pedaling until I was finally outside her sleeping house.

Something didn't feel right.

I practically ran up the copper stairs that aligned the side of the house, feeling extra anxious tonight. There was sweat on my back and my hair felt like it was all over the place, but finally at the top of the stairs I found her.

She was waiting for me.

But not like I expected. She was standing by the railing tonight and her back was towards me. I knew for a fact that she had always been afraid of standing to close to it. I instantly knew something was wrong.

What was she doing...?

Bella didn't move from there but I knew she had to have heard me. She always does.

"Jacob" she whispered.

_**"'Cause forever I believe that there's nothing I could need but you"**_

Her call was soft and sad, and she didn't turn around. But I knew that she knew that I was there.

My feet practically rushed to go to her side. I made sure not to get tangeled on my own feet.

"Bella, whats wrong?" I asked from behind her.

I was at a lost but I noticed her frame began to shiver. Her sobs came out quickly and quiet at first. And suddenly she fell to her knees, holding on to the railings.

I had never seen her this way. I didnt know what to say. I just wanted to hear her tell me _everything._

"Jacob.....I'm leaving." She said. Her voice as delicate as her body. The night gown she had on was blowing in the cold wind and her body shivered though I couldn't tell if it was from the cold or not.

I trembeled at her words. What was she talking about? My started to feel to break into a cold sweat.

"Leav-ing?" I asked. My voice broke. And I felt a pang in my chest that I had never ever felt before in my short life.

"Yes, Ja-cob. And where I'm going.....you wont be able to ride your bike to. It'll be-be to far away."

My mind froze. The wind blew hard enough so that we could hear its howl.

Bella began to cry harder and she let Moby fall from her fingers on to the floor.

"....Away??"

_**"Time, is going by, so much faster than I,  
And I'm starting to regret not telling all of this to you.  
So if I haven't yet, I've gotta let you know...  
Never gonna be alone!  
From this moment on, if you ever feel like letting go,  
I won't let you fall.  
When all hope is gone, I know that you can carry on.  
We're gonna see the world out,  
I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone."**_

_**

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REVIEW!

coming up next : Bella's side of the story...and Jacob's painful goodbye.


	3. Daddy's Little Girl

**So this chapter was a little bit more emotional for me, I want to give you a quick look at what goes on inside of Bella's home. Listening and writing made me tear up a bit, because the song sure has some strong sad lyrics. I do hope you guys enjoy.**

**Please Review! I really need feedback...it's like my crack! And thanks again for reading and having patience while the story unfolds :)**

**Chapter 3 : Daddy's Little Girl Inspired by "Daddy's Little Girl" : Frankie J**

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No P.O.V (But Mostly Bella's side of things.)

**"Cant you see how much I need you?"**

The car ride home was unbearably silent. Bella sat in the back seat, once again wrapping her fingers around Moby, trying to find comfort in the thick atmosphere. She could easily see the tension bouncing between her mother and father, like a ball of doom, only growing bigger and bigger.

Bella could almost imagine the fire that was building between them. Taunting and initiating, ready to explode. Bella was young but she knew. She knew something bad was going to happen, if this ball of fire were to explode.

Her father had his fingers tightly binded to the steering wheel, looking everywhere but at his own wife's face. Through the review mirror Bella could see the wrinkles making there selves permanent on his face. She found herself wishing she could put her fingers on them, rubbing circles on them, soothing them out herself.

Her mother on the other hand glared at him. Only 1/2 of her tan face could be seen but Bella could see more rage on that 1/2 then she had ever seen before. Bella inhaled a silent gasp, trying to remain intact with what was going on around her.

Her mothers eyes were wide and more expressive then anything Bella has ever seen. She shivered to herself, feeling the cold emanating from them so she looking away.

Her grip on Moby tightened, but Moby wasn't helping much.

She decided to stare at the rain drops that fell on the car window beside her. She watched them fall one by one letting her self get cought up in them. Some slipped down quickly disappearing, others hung and lingered, till their small trail faded away.

She wished Jacob could have come her with her. She knew that if he were there, things would seem a lot brighter and better.

She sighed softly to herself didn't say a word.

In the background, green trees and colorful houses passed, but everything looked so gray to Bella that she barely paid any mind to them. After the rain drops became old, she just looked away.

She looked back to her mothers face, which was still focused on her father. Her eyes looked cold as stone. But there was more deep behind that, there were faint hints of melancholy.

Bella began to think of her mother, and instantly started to think of all the times they spent countless hours baking chocolate chip cookies. All the times they both playing dress up in the mall. It hadn't been to long ago since they last did that. But over time these mother-daughter moments started to fade.

But she still remembers, after all shopping with Renee had been her favorite hobby. Her mother would chose many frilly dresses for her only child to try on. They would cram into a dressing room, modeling this and that for each other. It would just be the two of them alone in Port Angeles, as her father worked long shifts at the station.

It was those days that she remembers Renee's smile the most. There always seemed to be rich laughter lingering in the air. It was a time when her father and mother got a long just fine. There were no fights and no arguements. It was when things were peaceful.

Wondering if she wasn't the daughter her mother wanted anymore, Bella's lip began to tremble as she watched the two people who meant so much to her.

In the beginning they did everything to make sure that Bella never heard the arguments. They would go off in to their bedroom on the second floor, locking the door behind them and soon enough the lashing would begin. It was always about money, it was about there fading love, it was about Bella, it was about Charlie wanting another child, when Renee definitely didn't.

Things didnt get better with trying to hide it.

If anything, they got a lot worse.

The arguments would creep into their dinner time. In the end someone would always end up leaving the dinner table, leaving the food untouched. Bella would silently sit a few chairs down, watching these battles unfold in front of her.

Bella looked at her father again. In the review mirror she could see his eyes hooded and sad. Her small heart clenched knowing something really bad had happened while she was being stitched up earlier.

They finally arrived to their home. But Bella, didn't feel comforted by this.

"Are you okay sweetie, do you feel light headed?" Charlie asked his daughter, watching her swoon a bit as she stepped out the car, making her way clumsily in to the yard."

"I'm fine Daddy, I'm just kind of tired and a wittle sleepy. I wanna go to bed." her childish voice replied. She wattled to the door quickly and was already waiting for her dad to unlock the wide front door.

Bella found herself avoiding the obvious tension that made her feel like the air was being sucked out of the atmosphere.

"So early, Bella?" Her mother asked, trying to tease her daughter, but even Bella knew her mother was in no shape to joke around. She put a large distance between her and Charlie and no one said a word until they reached the door.

"I'm sure it's all the medicine honey" Charlie said glancing at Bella, unlocking the door for them so they could get out of the ice cold rain.

Once inside, Bella took off her tennis shoes and left them near the door. It was just like her Dad always taught her, avoiding getting mud on the new carpet.

She made her way in, hanging her rain coat. She ran up the stairs and hurried into her room. Many pictures and puppy posters hung on the walls decorating almost every corner of her room.

Inside she pulled out her pajamas and quickly began too change out of the uncomfortable clothes she wore. In the middle of the act she caught a slight glimpse of herself in the mirror on top of the wood dresser. Doing a quick double take, Bella for the first time saw herself with the bandage wrapped around her small head covering the fresh stitches. She gasped and flinch. The bandage reminded her of what Mike Newton had said about her earlier during recess. Things about how she always got hurt. Her small heart clenched and she sighed trying to find some sort of strength inside her. She hated Mike Newton. She hated that he pushed her earlier today.

Why did that feel like it happened so long ago?

But Bella was glad that Jacob had been there. She was glad that he had punched him. Though she wasn't so fond of the image that played in her head remembering the blood gushing out of his face when it happened, she was thankful it had happened. She felt that Mike deserved it because if Bella wouldn't have gotten hurt in the first place then maybe her parents wouldnt be fighting now.

She finished getting dressed and shoved the wet and bloody clothes into the closet where the hamper was. She made her way to her full bed and sat on the edge. She stared into the nothingness around her.

Her head was slightly throbbing and everything started to feel a bit surreal. She brought a small hand to her temple and pressed down to where she felt pain. But instead of feeling the relief she seeked for, she only felt more pain searing through the small wound. She flinched and took the time to glance outside the window. She could see the sky growing dark, and the stars starting to appear. Her heart rate rose in hope that maybe tonight would be a night that Jacob would come see her.

Just at the mere thought, the wound in Bella's head started to hurt less.

She took the time to finish getting ready for bed and once everything was finally done, she climbed into her warm bed and buried herself beneath the thick sheets.

There was one thing left. And it was her favorite part before her lights went off.

"Daddy!" she yelled out, in a singy song voice.

She went silent, when there was no answer from her father. Listening intently to what could be going on down stairs, she stopped moving completely. For a long moment she heard nothing but her own heartbeat. The house seemed way to quiet to what she normally knew. The t.v was off, there was nothing playing, nothing cooking, for a moment Bella almost panicked thinking she was alone. Suddenly she heard the noise ghost up the vent system into her ears.

There were violent whispers that she heard and let them seep into her ears.

**"They tried just about everything  
It's getting harder now  
For him to breathe"**

It was her mother.

It was her father.

Fighting.

Again.

she sighed.

"Daddy!" She called out again, not wanting to hear anymore. She hoped that maybe she could stop it before the real rumble actually began.

About 10 seconds later, she heard a door open from down stairs, and then loud footsteps climbing up the stairs. She wondered of it was a bad idea calling out to her father when he was mad.

Soon enough Charlie popped his head into her room with an uneasy smile.

"Ready kiddo?" he asked, but tonight his voice didn't sound as enthusiastic as it did other nights.

"Yes, Dad. I'm all ready."

"Good" He said smiling softly while pulling a small pink chair from Bella's small drawing desk. He placed the chair next to her bed like he always did every other night.

But still something still didn't feel right.

Wind blew in from Bella's window making her curtains dance and she shivered once again, thinking that today everything seemed to be filled with coldness.

Charlie reached under Bella's desk and pulled out their most recent bed time story. Bella and her Father both smiled reading the title.

_Junie B. Jones Is Not A Crook_

Charlie had made it a ritual to read the books from this series to his daughter. He loved watching his daughters expressions as he read the books. She would laugh at all the funny parts, that only another 8 year old child could understand. He would watch her mouth form a big O as shock would seep in, in parts that would shocked her. He just loved it. He just simply _loved _spending time with his only daughter. But sadly, with everything that had been going on lately, he hadn't been putting much heart in to it.

He regretted that. He regretted not always being the father she probably really needed. Yes she was mature, but she was still only a child.

So that night he read to her. He dug deep within himself, looking for the energy to portray every word that each character said. He found a strange craving to fulfill his role as a father. Recently, he'd been feeling as if his own family had been falling away from him. The sadness erupted inside him but he kept reading. His voice mighty and loud.

" 'Cause the sun was beaming down on our horse heads, that's why!" He said, laughing himself at the blunt things Junie B. Jones would say.

The sky was now really dark, and the moon was high lighting all the clouds that lingered there. Charlie closed the book and looked down at his daughter, sighing.

" The 3 chapters are up sweetie" He told Bella. Who laid in her bed silent but animated.

"Aww....okay Daddy. But tomorrow you will read to me again, right?"

Charlie's face crumpled because thinking about tomorrow made his stomach knot for unknown reasons. His face seemed to fall and he couldn't prevent it from showing.

Bella saw the weird look her fathers face and moved closer so she could cup her fathers cheek in her hand.

"Daddy--" her little voice rung out in concern but she was quickly interrupted.

_Not around my daughter_, Charlie thought.

"Bella sweetie, if I'm here, I'll always read to you. Each and every night" he said softly, making his way up to cup the small hand that was cupping his cheek.

He shoved his sudden vulnerability away and stroked his daughters hand.

Bella stared at her father closely this time.

There were huge circles under her fathers eyes that reminded her of sick people. There were scrunched up lines on his face and Bella wished she could flatten out. She didn't approve the way her father looked. In fact, she could feel her own wary lines form on her forehead, in worry.

"It's time for bed, love" He said, his voice very small. But he just kept looking at his daughter, not moving away from her small hand which he felt like was holding him together.

**"Daddy Daddy don't leave  
I'll do anything to keep you  
Right here with me  
Can't you see how much I need you"**

Bella nodded, but her chest clutched.

Her father released her hand, and she slipped it down his cheek, bringing it back to her side.

"Good night kiddo, You know I always love you, right?" He asked. There was so much sadness in his eyes.

They both didn't know why they felt so much doom.

"Yes Daddy. Did you know that I love you a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot?" she asked, a small faint smile on her lips.

"Yes, Bella. I do. And I'll never forget it."

With that, he put the chair back underneath the table and made his way to the door.

His steps were slow, but loud. Bella watched her father leave in confusion.

More cold wind flew through the window.

Right before he closed the door behind all the way, he turned around and stuck his head back into in to the room.

"Sweet Dreams Bella"

His voice was sad. The door closed. And then he was gone.

-----

Not much time passed. But enough of it did.

And the screaming started again. Her head began to throb again.

The cool wind howled outside and Bella got up to close the window trying to prevent more shivers from rocking her body. Her fingers laced around the handle of it but it wouldn't budge. She pushed and tried bringing it down but the window wouldn't even move a bit. After many tries, she finally gave up, quietly she huffed and puffed. She took the time to catch her breath and just let the wind hit her. It was cold and a bit raged. It brought comfort to the wound in her head. It brought emptiness to a wound in her heart.

When she felt too cold, she stepped away from the window and decided to go get one of her parents to help her close the window.

She wrapped her arms around her tiny torso and made her way to the door.

When she opened it, she then heard things she hadn't been able to hear before.

There were loud whispers ranting in the living room shifting in the air. Bella quietly listened.

"Charlie how could you?" Bella's mother asked, shocked.

Bella braced herself to what she might hear.

"I HAD to Renee. How else could I get rid of this problem?" Charlie told Renee. His voice was getting a little bit louder.

"You took my name off our shared bank account and you sold me car? What the hell?!" She said in utter disbelief.

"Renee, Please. Don't take it personally. We just need to draw a line......your spending so much. So I figured why not go back to separate accounts so you can have your money, and I have mine." Charlie told her, hesitant with every word.

"What the fuck Charlie?! Your my husband. You don't trust me? Is it like that now?" Renee yelled now.

"No. No. NO. Dammit, it's not like that now--"

"Yes it is." Renee said, interrupting him with a mere whisper. "We are fucked beyond relief now."

"Renee. Dont." Charlie pleaded.

"No Charlie. You DONT." She took and deep and desperate breath. Renee chose her words carefully. "I think me and you need to stop pretending. Stop pretending that we are going to fix this because I don't think we can. I fucked it up. And you fucked it up. You fell out of lo-love with me"

Renee's voice broke. Bella's breath hitched.

"And I fell out of love with you. Charlie, we cant do this anymore. This....taking my name of the account is nothing. Selling my car...whatever. But a loveless relationship---well that's something!" She yelled.

"Renee. Please. Just. Stop. It's not my fault...that you turned.....cold"

Suddenly everything did feel cold. Bella quietly made her way down the stairs. She wanted know why she felt like she was on the edge. Like things were going to get bad.

"Cold!?" Renee yelled in disbelief.

Bella knew now that if she had been upstairs, she would now be able to hear what was going on. Suddenly she wished that she hadn't moved from the cold window in her room. It would probably numb everything she felt.

Bella's small feet reached the bottom of the stairs and stepped onto the ivory carpet, warming her small toes. Just around the corner stood Charlie and Renee looking at each other with fear, worry, anger and resentment.

"If you hadn't started engaging with the waitress at the diner then maybe you wouldn't have seen me turn cold. It's so obvious Charlie." Renee responded bitterly. "You like what you saw. And you've been going to see it every day"

"Renee, you are so delusional. I am not interested in her. If you haven't notice you dont make lunch everyday. And I am not interested in ruining our family. But for some reason I now think that you are."

"Fuck Charlie! Im not stupid!" She yelled at him.

Bella remained silent. This time even Moby wasn't there to comfort her.

"Well you sure are acting stupid. How could I love a stupid women?"

"How could I love a miserable man?!" She responded.

"How dare you, Renee?" He asked incredulous.

"How dare you, Charlie?! How fucking dare you?" She answered, her voice tantalizing and outraged.

"I cant do this shit Renee. This isn't who I married and this isn't who I'll stay with!"

For just a moment the coldness disappeared and there was complete silence in the absence of the loud wind.

Bella gripped on to the stair railing, listening intently. Every scream had been vicious and a knife to Bella's small heart. Mommies and daddies were suppose to love each other. That's what she had thought.

But Charlie and Renee, didn't.

Bella wanted to cry. She wanted to sink into the ground. Couldn't they stop fighting even for her? Was she so bad?

"What are you trying to say? You ganna leave?" Renee challenged him. It was loud and clear.

"**Father listen  
Tell him that he's got a home and he don't have to go  
Father save him  
I would do anything in return  
I'll clean my room  
Try hard in school  
I'll be good  
I promise you  
Father, Father  
I pray to you"**

Bella gripped onto the railing knowing that if she let go, she'd have a one way ticket to the ground.

_This was her all her fault,_ Bella thought.

Suddenly there was a LOUD crash. Bella flinched, jumped and gasped, as the wind blew hard again, shaking against the house.

She heard glass shatter on the hard ground around her parents who were oblivious to her standing nearby. Charlie had grabbed a vase and smashed it against the wall. Renee looked at him shocked and speechless. His face was more withered then they had both seen before.

Tears were falling down Charlie's face.

"Don't do this Renee!" he shouted, this time his face was deadly in front of Renee's.

She had never seen her parents this way before. There was no love. There was no heat. There was nothing that she expected to be in a family. Everything seemed wrong and broken to her.

Renee picked a frame up and threw it across the room landing a few feet away from Bella. The glass shattered again and there on the floor laid a family portrait. It vividly called out to Bella.

It was Charlie, Renee and Bella.

Smiling.

Elegant.

Fake.

It hit Bella then. Her family wasn't like others. Her family had wars within itself. Wars she didn't understand. She never wanted anything more then for everything to be okay. For a loving mother and father, but she felt like she couldn't even get that.

Bella took a heavy step forward, her heart pounding and her body heavy. She felt her breaths coming in hard as the pain in her head throbbed more then ever. Once again the carpet warmed her toes, but everything else all over, felt icy.

Charlie looked at Renee, anger all over his face but tears were escaping his eyes and no one could ignore them.

Renee started crying too. They were loud sobs that raked through her body and yet she didn't give in. Her pain filled face showed rage and suddenly she lifted her arms to push Charlie away from her violently.

"Fuck you Charlie. Fuck you!" She cried out, sobbing. Her hair was messy. Her hands tightly balled fist.

Bella's heart was hurting so much, she felt as if her heart was that vase and that frame that had been thrown minutes before. Everything was shattering around her. She didn't understand this pain.

Tears started to fall down her face as well. Everything was so horrid and painful....she couldn't take it.

She needed Jacob. She needing nothing more then Jacob. Because only he could hold her together. Where was Jacob?

Everything was so dark and cold.

"Forget it Renee. Your right. Lets stop pretending. You'll stop playing Barbie. And I'll stop playing Kent. Im leaving." He said.

Bella froze then, because all she had heard was the leaving part. Leaving.

"I'm so done, I'm so done dealing with is." He yelled, pushing Renee out the way harshly, looking for his promising keys. He took them in his hands and looked back at Renee once he was at the door. Renee who had been silent, followed him. She said nothing. She didnt even know how she felt. Nothing actually felt real.

**"He drops his suitcase by the door  
She knows her daddy won't be back anymore  
She drags her feet across the floor  
Tryna hold back time to keep him holding on  
**

"Goodbye Renee. Say goodbye to my little g-girl-" He said so softly. Crying and angry, breaking at the end.

Bella's little mind started panicking and the sobs escaped her mouth. This time she was heard and two angry faces that she once thought she knew, turned their way too look at her. Instantly those faces softened but there was sadness, regret, and hurt.

This was all HER fault, Bella thought

"Bella honey--" Renee began hoarsely.

"Daddy Please!" Bella yelled.

She didn't move but her father had his hands on the door knob.

"Daddy...please" she said once more. Charlie looked down avoiding the image of her endless tears falling down her precious face.

"Don't go!" she yelled.

"Go Charlie." Renee said, encouraging him on and surprising everyone. Her voice had been hard but her face was morphed into obvious pain.

"Don't make this harder!" she yelled.

Charlie flinched and Bella ran to him. Her bare feet ran over shards of glasses that pierced her skin, but she ignored the pain. Charlie already had his arms open for her, and she jumped into them with great force.

"Don't do-dont go, Daddy. Please. I ne-need you!"

**"Please don't let him go (don't let him go)  
I'm begging you so (I'm begging you so)  
need to open his eyes  
need a little more time  
To tell him that I love him more  
than anything in the world  
is daddy's little girl"**

She cried. She cried hard in the arms of her father. She cried like there was not tomorrow. This was all her fault after all, Bella thought.

This was all too dramatic for everyone.

Bella wasn't ready for it, but Charlie put her down.

"Don't leave" She whispered again. She was cold, exhausted, and torn.

"He wont be leaving Bella honey." Renee finally said. Her eyes blood shot and guilty.

Bella looked up at her mothers face as Charlie did the same. Renee wasn't don't though.

"We are."

-------

That night, once Charlie was safely on the worn down couch and Renee was in her room alone, Bella turned off all the lights in her room, closed the door and headed for the other stairs that lead to the roof.

She brought Moby with her this time, his fur brushing against her arm on top of the blankets. She slid open the balcony door, letting the cold familiar wind hit her freely.

The cold was becoming her close friend.

Bella felt like she was breaking. All she could see in her head was the mockery of the family portrait that still laid shattered in her house.

Everything was shattered. Torn to pieces. Torn to dust. Left for the _cold wind_ to blow away.

Tonight was the last night she would come up here. Tomorrow, she was leaving for Pheonix. Just her and her mother.

Her heavy legs were leading her to the edge of the balcony. She wanted to stop herself, but she felt that tonight she had to face her fears. Tonight was the only chance she had.

Tonight, she'd have to learn to live with out Jacob Black.

Her heart thumping, her knees shaking, she finally reached the railing. It was wet and slippery and everything from a bad nightmare.

All she could imagine was the railing giving away and her falling over. She shivered.

Her fingers laced around the railing. Pulling herself to even rely on the railing for support as she put her weight on it. She shivered and shook as she took in the height. She had to learn how to deal with fear.

She had to learn to live with out Jacob who wont ever be able to comfort her again.

If everything that had happened today hadn't broken her, then the thought of this did.

She couldn't even imagine life with out Jacob.

He was her play mate. Her other half. And now she would be miles and miles away according to her mother.

She couldn't fight this.

Bella shivered and clung to the rail tightly, letting Moby fall to her feet. Her breaths came in harder and harder, the wind blew harder and harder.

Then she heard his familiar steps coming up the side house steps. Hear heart clenched violently.

_Jacob Black, save me.... _

**"I'll do anything to keep you  
Right here with me  
Can't you see how much I need you"**

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**So yeah, I almost cried. The song...is just that good. You want to know what else is good? REVIEWS!!**

**SO PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE :) I've gotten little reviews :( even if its just a oneline, it'll mean a lot.**

**next time: Jacob's good bye..and life over the years.**

**REVIEW! REVIEW!**


	4. Before The Dawn

**Thanks to those who have reviewed. I can't tell you how much my day just brightens up when I know I've gotten one. Well this is where I plan to stop the painful "goodbye" I hope you enjoy. Writing this I also listened to "Don't Take the Girl" by Tim McGraw. It just seemed a lot more appropriate to use, but the lyrics didn't exactly apply because that song has a lot of names in it that will probably confuse you readers. So in the end I settled for this amazing song. Sorry if you find mistakes.****  
****Please enjoy and please review!!! I mean it ;)****  
****Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

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**Chapter 4: Before the Dawn**** (Inspired by "Before the Dawn" : Evanescence)****  
**

Jacobs P.O.V  
  
**"Meet me after dark again and I'll hold you"**

**  
**"Away...?" I asked.

I didn't know what it was like to loose sense of the things that go around you, until it happened that moment. In my whirlwind of questions, the sky seemed to turn a darker shade of blue and all my thoughts began to run a million miles per minute.

I don't know how long I stood there. It could have been seconds or minutes but I even lost the sense of that. I just simply just didn't know.

Was it possible that Bella could really leave? Leave so far away that I won't be able to see her anymore? That just didn't seem possible to me. My brain couldn't process that complicated thought. It was too just way too much for me to accept. It was going against everything I knew in my life.

I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out. Regaining strength, I tried again but all I felt was the cold air whipping against my lips reminding me of the emptiness. Defeated, I just stood there, staring at my one and only best friend.

All I could see was Bella's back side, her hair lashing in the angry wind. She looked out into the midnight sky, not moving and not speaking. It felt as if her existence was trying to play a game with mine, as I felt the pull to be closer to her.

I found myself half expecting her to turn around and tell me this was all some sick joke. I _wanted her_ to tell me this was all some game that she wanted to play on me. But even I knew Bella wasn't that cruel. She was small and loving and everything else you could ever want in a best friend and playmate. This couldn't be a joke.

Long agonizing moments passed but Bella didn't turn around. Time continued to crawl by but I was just as unmoved. We both stood there, trying to take in the cold and reality that was envoloping our hearts.

No one moved. No one said anything. There was just the howl of the wind, and the silence of the night that embraced us.

I started to feel pain. A pain I couldn't understand. A pain in my chest that was vivid and eager to devour me from the inside. It was a hole in me that was opening, while a familiar coolness began to seep inside. My body instantly was aching for warmth to wrap itself around.

And then as if things couldn't get any worse, it began to rain.

Cold, thick drops began to drizzle into my long black hair. Each drop bringing some sense of reality into me and slowly I began to regain control of my brain.

The rain drops began to slide down my face, sinking into the sockets of my eyes. Not much time passed as I started to feel myself again.

I managed to take a step towards Bella, who unlike me was still frozen. She seemed to be in some trance that she refused to come out from and I didn't know what that meant.

I couldn't even comprehend half the things that were going around us. The only thing I understood was that Bella was leaving. Far away. Probably for a very long time. And that realization was enough to not want to know anymore.

The rain continued to pelt onto our small bodies while the wind began to shake Bella's body in a small dance.  
She began to tremble probably from the rain and immediately I made my way towards her.

My nerves began to act up a bit as I got closer to her with each step. Even I had never gotten so close to the railing.

I didn't want to admit that I was scared. Oh, no. I'd never admit that. I was a boy…a big boy. But I was also a big boy who was afraid of heights.

Soon enough I was standing right next to Bella. I set one hand on the railing in front of me and I leaned onto it slightly with one side, also turning to face her. Taking in her feautures, the rain began to fall harder.

She had tears on her face that were mixing with the rain and her teeth were pressing down on her lips so hard I worried she would break the skin there.

Her eyes were wide with an uncertain emotion I couldn't recognize and her hands gripped on to the railing as if it were a life support.

Oh yes....she knew how I felt to.

The silence continued, and the rain kept pouring. Still no one said a word.

I watched Bella.

Bella watched the sky.

A sky full of darkness and possibilities.

Her face caught many rain drops but she refused to look away. Deep inside I was dying to know what she was thinking, and thanfully she ended up breaking the silence.

"Ja-cob" she said, finally moving her small lips. She turned to look at me for the first time, as if finally accepting the fact that I was really there. Her head cocked to the side and her brown eyes locked with my own. There was suddenly a river of goose bumps moving up my spine.

"Yes?" I replied, but it was hoarse and deep. Nothing like my whiny kid voice.

At the sound of my voice, her top right teeth clashed back down with her bottom lip again, trapping it and searching for comfort.

Her eyes didn't leave mine but she now looked so far away from my face. As if she was seeing something else.

Creases on her forehead formed and her bottom lip turned white where she bit down. My mind still rolled miles and miles per minute.

_What was wrong? _My hands began to shake from the situation around me.

She finally released her lip, and her eyes refocused on me. They raked over my face, starting at my rounded skin and following the curves of my cheek bones.

"I need to learn how to live without you" she said and suddenly the air rung with her words. Her face crumpled and looked away, once again she faced the sky. Clearly saying those words was too much for her.

**"I want nothing more then to see you there"**

She gripped onto the railing harder and suddenly pressed her whole body against it. She was doing with pressure and with need, as if facing fear itself in the face. Her knuckled turned white but she refused to let go.

**  
**I tried to process the words she spoke, but something about it wasn't clicking within me. I had a strong feeling that something else was going on, that there was more, but I couldn't find it.

I turned to stare at her face, looking for a clue or a reason. Instead all I could see was a pool of discomfort and obvious unsatisfaction.

Inside I was dying to know why she was leaving. I was dying to know what was going on. And even though I knew for a fact, that if I asked her, she wouldnt hessiate to tell me. Though I had a pretty good idea what it was about. Probably what it was almost always about.

Charlie and Renee.

My heart sunk for her. And of course everything in me was telling me to try and fix it.

"Bella no matter what, I'll always be here with you. You might not see me around, but you'll never be alone." I took her hand in mine, letting the words flow out of mu mouth easy. In the familiar gesture, I squeezed her hand and let the ice cold temperature sink into my own grip. It resembled the cold railing that wobbled in front of us, the only thing keeping us from falling.

I brought her hand up to my lips and kissed it, tasting the skin and the rain together, filling me with a slight warmness. I held it tight and caressed it close to me.

God, she was like home.

We both sighed unevenly.

I looked up at her and some of the small creases around Bella's eyes slowly started to disappear. The mask of emotion she had on slowly began to fade away. Pieces of it fell with the rain and a handful of emotions revealed the stress that was visible on her face.

But as the mask was coming off, I saw that there was another one right underneath it. Another mask, similar to the one before, but still very different.

It was made up of Sadness.

Confusion.

Hurt.

And Fear.

And then I understood. It all clicked inside of me. Reality.

She did need to learn to live without me. It wasn't a saying of normalcy or question.

It was way much more.

Bella had learned to live with me as her right hand. I had been there for her when no one was. I never did understand that, Bella was pretty and funny and even though my friends made fun of me for always being with Bella, I loved her. How could anyone stay away?

Bella's eyes were strained with fear, and I could imagine her living a life without our midnight meetings. A life without her weekend trips to La' Push where we spend hours playing video games or hide-n-seek. It didnt look so good.

She once told me she wished I were her brother, so that I could spend a lot of time with her. I on the other hand told her I was glad she wasn't my sister because if she was, then we couldn't get married some day.

And I had never heard of a brother and sister getting married.

And boy did I want to marry Bella! My heart seemed to flutter at this thought. For a moment I almost forgot the dread that lingered in the air like a ghost. And then of course reality hit like thunder, illuminating my world and leaving me blind with the after shock.

What would she do without me?

What would I do without her?

I reached over to Bella's side and took her other hand as well. I turned her to face me now, focusing her gaze on me.

Her hair was soaked through and wet, the waves that I knew so well, were now straight and dripping.

I wanted to hold Bella's hands tight enough to reassure the both of us.

Looking at our hands, I suddenly wished that my hand would leave an imprint over hers. Like a tattoo or a reminder, that would always let her know I was always here. But my brain and heart knew…..that soon this would all be gone. And no print could stop that.

I had to do something.

We had to face our fears.

So I shoved all the emotions behind me.

Quickly, I let go of her hand and placed them both in the railing in front of us. Carefully I stepped onto a small bar that ran across the bottom, placing both feet there. Higher now, I was able to throw a leg over the railing. As I held on, it didn't take long before I was bringing the other one over and I suddenly was standing on the ledge of the house facing the open world.

I could hear Bella's gasp at my daring gesture and I expected her to stop me. Surprisingly this never came and instead, I could feel the stare from her eyes burning a hole in my back. The stare felt like it was taunting and tantalizing me.

In the end we were going to have to learn to live without each other. No matter how scary it was...no matter how much it could hurt. My breath started to coming in heavy and my chest began to clench. How could I live without the girl....who I needed most?

My back was towards Bella now, who behind me was breathing deeply. I could almost hear her trembling in fear and I could almost hear the loud ciaos that was probably hurricaning in her head. My being was reaching out towards her; its only goal was to soothe her.

My hands were twisted back holding me in place and I was suddenly aware that I was standing 4 floors above ground. The fear began to flood inside me, but before it was too late I pushed it aside by concentrating on the forest that Bella and I had once upon a time spent many hours finding refuge and peace in.

I almost threw myself right back over the railing towards Bella, when I felt the wind rock me back and forth. But I couldnt stop myself from being mesmerized by the things in front of me.

The trees in sync all swayed in the wind, dancing back and forth in its wrath. The rain sprinkled over every leaf in the dark, making its surfaces glow and twinkle from the half hidden moon light. The dark gray clouds in the purple sky was descending a mist that was wrapping and devouring us. Everything started to feel magical.

If it weren't for the cold rain falling on us, the atmosphere would have been more then tantalizing and inviting.

The wind blew my wet hair around and it blew onto my body making my shirt stick to me like a second skin. The sensations it brought made me feel more then alive.

I wanted to fly.

And I wanted to bring Bella with me.

"**And maybe tonight, We'll fly so far away"  
**

And as if my desires were being fulfilled, I felt the railing shake a little underneath me. Looking back I could see Bella's little frame mimicking my earlier movements. I could see her swinging her legs over in an attepmt to position herself next to me on the rail. Finally nothing could hold us back. She had a hard look plastered on her face, but in her eyes I could see the copious fear.

For a moment I worried. I worried that Bella would slip and fall into the never ending abyss. But this wasn't the case. Her clumsiness wouldn't contradict this.

I was the railing to Bella's life.

And I knew Bella would never let go.

After moments of watching her struggle with a strained look on my face, she finally was in the same position I was. We were both holding on to the railing behind us, while the air took us far away into the earths beauty.

The mist began to move one way and another. And the clouds rushed above us like a river. There was slight beauty everywhere our eyes fell upon. Everything was lifting my spirits. Even though I knew the final destination was for them to fall back down.

I looked over at my best friend and watched as her eyes would constantly rake over everything. There was no denying that she was like an open book.

She'd widen them, trying to look as far as she could. And then she'd close them, letting peace possess her. There were smiles coming on and off her face like ocean waves on a beach.

The rain drops would go over her eye lids and onto her cheeks, slow and smooth.

Tonight heaven was crying for her.

Neither of said anything. Probably too scared to say a word that could break the spell. Still I could feel Bella's uncertainty and I told myself that I would wait until it faded away.

We continued to hold onto the wobbly railing, and when I finally felt Bella calm, I lifted one hand and pressed it against Bella's cheek. I smiled at her encouraging, letting her know she wasnt alone.

"You're strong enough to move on Bells. But remember that when ever you feel the wind blow, and when ever you feel the rain fall, I'm always right here by you." I emphasize the small distabce between our bodies.

Bella remained silent but nodded enough to satisfy me. She then tilted her head into my palm and buried her wet cheek in my cupped hand and easily made my heart skip a beat.

Tonight would be a long one.

The rain continued to fall. But we just stood there, till our knees were almost asleep. Till our hearts were connected.

After what seemed like either minutes or hours, the rain stopped and the clouds faded away with out warning.

The sky was the darkest color we had ever seen. And we knew it was right before the dawn.

"**We'll be lost before the dawn"  
**

I gave Bella a squeeze on her cheek and motioned for her to make her way back over to safety.

Her eyes looked into mine, and I could see she wanted to say something. But she never did. At this, I watched her clumsily hop over to the other side. Quickly, I followed her.

Bella and I made our ways over to the lawn chairs where we wrapped ourselves tightly around the thick fleece blankets, shivering and trembling against each other. The warm sheets that had been placed safely under the chairs wrapped us in comfort.

I wrapped my arms around my best friend and let the heat of our bodies intertwine and mix between us.

Soon enough the rain and the wind was forgotten and sleep took over us, drowning us away from such a cruel and unfair reality.

"**If only night could hold you"**

----

The sun was bleeding through my eye lids when I heard the balcony door open roughly.

Wait, sun?! We over slept!

I refused to open my eyes into the possible hell Bella and I were going to have to face. Quickly I felt around for Bella and realized she was still in my arms.

Quil and Embry would make so much fun of me if they knew.

"Billy, they're out here!" I heard Charlie scream.

"Oh thank God!" Renee said in a worn out whisper.

I then heard many different footsteps making their way towards us.

I was almost about to sit up and give into the scene when I heard Bella's frantic whisper against my neck, where her face was still buried.

"Don't move" She said, and so I braced myself, and listened to the approaching steps.

"Oh my gosh, they must have been here all night. They could have pneumonia after all that rain!" said my mother, who was probably scrambling to get near us. I felt her familiar warm hand raking over my cheek, probably checking for a fever and I held in a crince when I realized it felt cold.

"Well their clothes feel dry, but they are also stiff, so I'm guessing they did stay out last night." Said Renee who sounded more then disapproving.

"How do you think he got out here, Maddie?" My father asked my mother, his voice incredulous but obviously relieved.

"Well there is a bike down stairs in the back yard, so I'm guessing he got here on it" Charlie pitched in.

And then it was silent. The stillness teasing us all.

Moments later I felt a slight shake rattle me, and I realized they were trying to wake us up. My eye lids fluttered and the first thing I saw was Bella on my chest, her hair lighting up with the bright sun above us.

'**Where I can see you, My love"**

By the looks of it, and by how much I had to strain my eyes, it had to be fairly late.

Bella began to move too, and we continued to get up. Together Bella and I both began to fake a yawn.

"**then let me never ever wake again"**

It took every muscle in my body to not laugh at this.

But then I looked up at our parents who were all looking at us with different emotions.

Suddenly laughing didn't seem like the best idea. A small sinking feeling began to deepen in my chest.

I felt Bella seek my hand under the blankets and when she found it I squeezed in reassurance, trying to let us know that we were going to be okay.

"We were going crazy when we didn't find you in bed, young man." My dad said sternly.

"Thank God Maddie called Renee and found out Bella was missing too. We figured you two would be together." Charlie said.

"Jacob why are you even here?" My dad asked.

All I could say was "Bella needed me"

I watched Renee's and Charlie's face crumple, as they stood feet apart from each other, and I knew they felt guilt.

Good.

They should.

I expected many more lashing questions to come out of each of their mouths. But nothing more then that came. I still braced myself waiting for more.

"Bella darling, go get changed" Said Renee, in a soft voice.

Bella only looked up at her mother in confusion and question. The air felt thick again.

"We have an early flight today" she said. And then reality was crashing down on me all over again.

----

An hour later, Bella and I were playing on a swing tire that hung in Bella's back yard. For a while I just pushed her in silence, watching her dress fly with the wind. My small heart felt like it was breaking. But I kept my eyes locked on her, because nothing felt better then that.

_I didn't want Bella to go!_

I could see the waves in her hair dance in the movements, as she rocked back in forth.

_Why did Bella mean so much to me? _

At this I pondered and forgot what I was doing. I stared up to the tree that shaded us from the rare hot sun and lost myself in my own thoughts.

"**Somehow I know that we can't  
Wake again from this dream  
It's not real, but it's ours"**

"Jacob" I heard Bella's voice call out to me. It whipped around in my head and quickly I looked at her in acknowledgement.

She was no longer swinging and her eyes were focused on me with a painful stare.

"I'm going to miss you, Jacob"

I looked at her more and watched rays of sun that bypassed certain tree branches, illuminating her hair. There were streaks of burgundy red that brought out her rich chocolate eyes to me. It birthed a strange hunger in me.

My chest clenched again and processing her words, my stomach sunk deep inside me.

"I'll miss you too. More then you know." I said, but it was soft and nothing like the yearning voice that was going off in my head. I was scared. More scared then I could show.

Bella nodded and looked down sadly. She shuffled with her feet and then brought them down to the ground and sat on the tire, gripping onto its sides.

I wanted to be with her all the time. I wanted to be able to spend more time with her. But I knew my time was running out. And this realization made my heart break.

My body once again was pulled towards my best friend. I quickly made my way to her not fighting it.

She watched me walk up to her. Her small eyes locked with mine with an intensity that wouldn't let us look away.

Soon enough I was standing right in front of her, where I could see the small almost invisible freckles on her cute little nose. She looked up at me, blinking and breathing hard. She was more then pretty...

Something inside my stomach was turning and flapping. I didn't know what it was. I just didn't recognize it.

Butterflies..?

The movement in me was making me nervous and it made me feel as if I were going to do something daring.

I continued to watch Bella. A desire unfolding inside me.

Her lips were out in an unconscious pout and then…..

I kissed her.

I don't know how. I don't know why. Once again I just don't know.

I leaned in, my being telling me where I needed to go. I felt the sun rays that beated on her, fall on me like a warm blanket. I saw her eyes widen and soon enough I pecked her pouty pink soft lips. They parted slightly, as she took it in.

My heart soared and my stomach did a back flip.

Whoa.

I almost leaned in again to do it once more, when I heard Bella gasp and the back door flew open.

"Time to say goodbye, Bella" Charlie said. His voice filled with pain and undeniable hurt, bringing me back to reality.

Now my chest really burned.

I backed away from Bella, our previous moment almost forgotten and reached for her hand.

In the middle of the yard, I watched her pull away from my hand in almost a jerk. I came to a sudden halt and my mind began to reel around, worried that Bella was angry at me for kissing her. Rejection.

Oh my God, I really had kissed her. No wonder she hated me now.

This time my heart was falling away to dust.

But then everything I thought fell away when I felt Bella throw herself onto me in a huge hug and one again I felt something click inside me. We were okay. Sort of.

I wrapped my arms around her small waist and she clung onto my neck. I half spun us around but when I heard her sob, I stopped to hold her tight.

"I don't want to leave you, Jake" She cried out. Her words clung to the strings of my heart and squeezed until I couldn't breathe.

"I don't either, Bella. But we have to. And I'm sorry" I said saying the true words in my heart that pounded furiously against the tip of my tongue.

I hugged her hard once again, desperately trying to remember her feel and the shape of her on me. I felt tears start to come out my eyes, and I realized I wasn't shamed enough to hide them. I let them fall down my check and into Bella's delicious smelling hair. She was home.

But of course the precious moment had to end.

She pulled away and didn't meet my eyes again. I followed her with my eyes as she walked towards our parents who now awaited with the most distraught looks on their faces. looking between her face and mine.

They had seen our exchange.

I continued to watch Bella from behind, enjoying how her dress swayed in the wind. My finger tips were dying to touch her again. But I couldn't move. Everything was frozen and numb.

_Is this really it?_

_Is it? Oh God…it hurts so much……….._

_Don't go….Please don't Go._

The words in my head yearned for her to come back.

Her hair continued to dance in the wind and suddenly she was to near her parents. She didn't look back once.

_Oh God, this was it._

I watched her hug my mother and my father, who looked just about as distraught as Charlie did. After all Bella has been part of our family too. This was hard for them as well. Renee looked horrible and just as sad as the others, I couldn't understand why her and Charlie couldn't just fix their delemas.

Did they not care enough to do it for me?

For Bella?

Then I saw Charlie grab Bella's hand and lead her inside. My mother and father looked at me with apologetic and sad looks but followed them inside, closing the door behind them.

Looking away and up at the tree the world suddenly shifted and I felt the need to throw up. I was falling apart.

_Not my Bella….._

And then suddenly the door opened again, and with hopeful eyes I looked towards it, in search of Bella.

There she was, tears on her face and arms wife open for me. She ran across the yard and into my arms so fast, that I couldn't even register her I hugging me again.

"I love you so much, Jake! So much!" She said into my ear.

"Me too Bells. I love you too." I exclaimed, feeling my heart reach out towards her. Nothing would be enough to fill my craving for my best friend.

I moved my lips and pecked her smooth cheek savoring the taste.

After a while her arms limped around me, and her feet were already moving her away from me. I wanted nothing more then to follow where she went.

"I'll be back in the summer" She said, trying to comfort me, but the feeling inside me was unmoved.

I just nodded….but nothing felt right as she kept walking away. My world was turning darker and darker as she faded.

If only she knew how wrong she was then. Because her attempts at writing to me eventually failed. Her phone calls began to fade when we found nothing to say. And she never did come back. At least not until 9 years later, when nothing at all would ever be the same.

"**And maybe tonight, we'll fly so far away  
We'll be lost before the dawn"**

* * *

**Pls REVIEW. This chapter was about twice as long but it was well worth it. I still havent gotten many reviews :( Will you make my day and REVIEW!? REVIEW! PLS!!!!!!!!!**

**Next chapter: Life today.**


	5. Haunted

**So my last chapter got the most reviews so far. They practically doubled! I want to thank you guys so much for that. Im glad that the story is finally unfolding for many of you :) **

**It took me so long to update because I had to think really hard on how I was going to drive this story. It took me so long to choose between keeping it all human or bringing in the vampires and werewolves. Finally I came to a cunclussion. And I hope I dont disappoint any of you!**

**This is twice as long for a reason. I binded two chapters together so I can make up for my missed time!**

**Well this chapter isn't much of an introduction to lives today. Atleast not exactly. But of course before I do that, I need to wrap it around some drama.**

**Oh and btw: If any of you guys out there have any ideas you guys might think are good for the story. Dont hessitate to review or P.M me :)**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Twilight

* * *

**Chapter 5: Haunted (Inspired by "Haunted by Evanescence)**

**"When all this time i've been so hollow inside  
I know you're still there"**

Bella's P.O.V

After many painful hours, through the small window next to me, I could see the dim lights indicating that the airport was just bellow. Taking a deep breathe I closed the blind and tried to calm my internal thoughts that were moving as fast as the plane was.

Moments later, the plane stuttred and jumped as we touched the sweet ground and I took the time to silently thank the heavens that this was almost over.

As soon as the door opened I was the first one to run out.

Fun Fact of the day : How much I hated flying.

I quickly recruited my bags, that had been marked with 'Bella Sawn' and made my way through the airport, looking for a way out. I looked one way and another, flinching every time I felt something sore inside me move.

If anything, this day had been exhausting.

I found my self constantly yawning and rubbing my eyes, desperately trying to stay up and awake.

Waking up at 3 in the morning, surviving a 7 hour flight, dragging my luggage around like I was homeless; could do that to you.

On my way through the crowded airport of Washington, I noticed a small cafe in a corner and bought myself a large cup of fresh brewed coffee and drank as if life depended on it. I let the warmness and the smell comfort my senses once it was in my eager hands. Taking small gulps, I hoped that the caffeine would quickly do its wonders in waking me up.

Swallowing the hot liquid, my stomach did small turns, letting the nauseous feeling flying left, take over.

I suddenly felt sick, and gagged on the liquid itself leaving me trying to catch my breath.

I moaned and cursed myself for telling Charlie not to pick me up at the airport. There was nothing more that I wanted then to lay in my new bed and sleep for many hours.

Sleep. I needed it. And soon.

I yawned and tried to push away the disturbing feeling so I could think straight. It took me a while, but reaching within myself I finally did it. I tried to only think of what I needed to do to get home.

First I needed to catch a taxi.

Sighing, I gathered my two large handbags and my big rolling bag and headed through the huge automatic exit doors that lead to the city of Spokane. Once outside, the dark sky didn't take long to descend its winds out to lash at me. My light brown hair rocked with its power and everything inside me went cold.

Arizona had been hot.

The kind of hot where you needed umbrellas. For shade and Not for rain.

Washington was nothing like this. The state being so high up north, closer to the polar regions, was something I wasn't use to. I flinched thinking about having to replace all of my tank tops and shorts for sweat plants and over sized coats. I looked down at my jeans and flimsy long sleeve shirt. Yeah, a sweater would be nice right about now...

I threw away my half filled cup of coffee into a nearby bin and squeezed myself out of the crowded airport. Once outside I made it my goal to quickly spot a bright neon yellow taxi to take me out to Forks.

Gripping onto my bags tightly I looked up and down the street desperately trying to spot a cab. From where I stood I could only see a couple. They were either leaving with people already or there was nobody inside of them at all. I tried again raking the whole lot. But nothing seemed to be available. Jeez what is wrong with Washington State?

I could only spot shuttles and buses that were completely useless to me. Sighing once again, I set my bags down and pulled out a map, showing me all of the unfamiliar routes. Feeling more helpless and sicker then ever, I decided to look around for transportation help, God, I was going to suck up my pride and ask for directions.

To my left there was a man,. He was big and tall man with dark shades on, covering his eyes. He didn't look very promising but I asked him anyway.

"Um excuse me sir, Sorry to interupt but uhh....Do you know how I can get to Forks from here?"

As soon as he heard my voice he looked at me. Once his eyes found me, he took his time sweeping the length of my body, which shivered from the cold. I watched a nasty grin materialize on his face. I couldn't help but internally gag imagining his over sized rough hands over me.

"Well hello sweet thing" He said, sounding slightly drunk and raspy. Oh God. What do I get myself into?

He starred at my chest, that wasn't exactly that endowed and I watched his smile grow bigger and grinch-like, probably imagining how'd I look naked.

Feeling even more sick, and letting the irritation seep in, I began to look for my bags. I was about to walk away before I snapped, when I heard him speak again.

"It aint that far if you catch the train" He said as I turned around and watched him pointing down the street to a train station. He still didn't look away from my body. I could practically feel the coffee wanting to erupt from within me.

"It'll drop you off in Seattle where you could easily catch a taxi and get there. Much cheaper if you ask me" He said, now looking at the curves of my hips and legs. The skin began to crawl there and I couldn't help but feel alone and helpless.

_Pervert._

"Actually, If you want, I could take there myself sweet heart. I don't charge much babe. And I'll take whatever I can get" he said, finally looking at my face, winking as our eyes met.

_No. Not a pervert. More like pedophile_.

He licked his lips and I couldn't believe how bad this was going. I slowly started to back away, feeling like this man was suffocating me. He didnt try to hide his intentions as he stared to the section that was between my legs.

I took my bags and walked away without even mumbelling a thank you.

----

The only thing that I could hear was the rolling sound of the wheels on my luggage bag and the tapping of my quick feet on the pavement. From far away, I could barely see the train station. But as I got closer I could easily see the vacancy that wrapped around the place. It began to make me feel helpless again and alone. I thought I had known what I was doing, but I guess I was wrong. I held my breath trying to avoid excess shivering.

I realised that it didn't really look like a train station the more I saw it. It was more of a sub way with its empty food stands, and its dark alley ways that lead to God knows where. There were only a couple people who lingered around, sitting silently waiting for the train. Nothing about this place felt welcoming and once again I wished I hadn't denied Charlie's ride. I just didn't want him to miss a day of work. He hadn't given in so easily so I had made some excuse about "exploring on my own" and that it would be nice to get there by myself. I thought it seemed like a good idea once I said it...

So much for taking the opportunity to "explore" Washington. Looking down at my feet, I was half tempted to just give up and call him from a pay phone to just come get me. The willies this place gave me and the restlessness that was seeping inside me was starting to take its toll.

Before I could give in, I pushed those fears away and told my self that I needed to prove how grown I could be. How much he could trust me now because I know this would all determine the way Charlie would father me as well. The last thing I wanted was an over protective father. But I couldn't help but smile softly, remembering all the times he had called me "Daddy's Little Girl".

Seeing how dark it was and how many people lingered around, a sick feeling started to form in my stomach. I was really on my way to Forks.

Where it all began. Where my childhood had birthed. Where my life took an unexpected turn. Where I had left somebody very special behind.

---

And then..that's when it began to happen.

Making my way to the ticket booth, lost in thought and in the nerves that were acting up inside me from being home for the first time in years; I felt sharp eyes lingering on my back. I suddenly felt shirtless and bra-less in the middle of the place, even though I was completely dressed. I began to feel alert and self conscience as I made my way through the cold lot.

I dont know how but I knew that someone or something was watching me very intently and very intimately.

Slowing into a cautious stroll I took the time to look around with out looking too obvious. I quickly began to think of all the tricks dad once told me about self-defense.

Kicking the groin. Punching the nose in. Poking at the eye balls.

I just hoped that it was as easy as it sounded.

My heart began to race. My skin continued to crawl. Something was not...right.

Looking around, I could see many people were looking at me. The girl in the corner with a burning cigarette in her hand looked at me with a sneering stare. A man with a brief case quickly looked away as my eyes met his, embarrassed.

And then there was another man.

_A very very gorgeous man._

Whose eyes were an impossible shade of gold and whose skin was alabaster white.

I lost my breath.

Those bright eyes were staring at me, piercing me as if they were looking into my soul. I wasn't sure of what happened then but something must have snapped from within. My feet came to a halt and my breath began to rise. There was something very off with this man.

Every fiber in my being was telling me how rude it was to stare but neither of us did look away. I surely didn't want to look away.

A very strong feeling was emmanating from him and it began to hold me in a growing spell. A sudden warmness and safe feeling began to dance from within me. I took as much as him wanting the feeling to spread.

The only thing moving were the unforgettable golden tousles in his hair that danced with the violent wind.

I began cursing in my head. Talking about stranger danger....

His eyes kept looking at me and the saliva in my mouth began to bundle up inside. I let a very dramatic breath out and realised that I had completely stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. Still, I didn't look away nor move from my position.

The grip on my bags tightened and then I saw his lips curl into the smallest and most appealing crooked smile I had ever seen.

My heart thundered once.

Twice.

_Beautiful._

For a moment I just froze.

Is this what love at first felt like?

What the hell? I didn't even believe in love at first sight. That was just a an excuse to ogle someone from the outside.

My chest clenched and I began to feel my cheeks redden in embarrassment at his sweet and small gesture.

Suddenly his smile was gone as quickly as it came. It faded as if it had never existed.

The air felt colder, leaving me shuddering and trembling.

His eyes seemed to darken as they held mine, and I couldnt help but to uncomfortably look away. My cheeks turned even more red as I still felt his eyes penetrating through me.

Was there..something in my teeth? On my face? I didn't know....but I felt fear as I remembered how hostile he looked.

I forced my legs to keep on moving towards the ticket booth.

Still feeling the obvious stare on my back I paid for the boarding pass that would take me a little bit closer to _home._

Taking a deep breath and finally turning around, the first thing my eyes did was search for him. To my disappointment he was gone. As if he hadnt existed.

Had I imagined such a gorgeous man?

Why was I even swooning over this stranger?

Sure, I've had men in my life. And good looking ones, I'd add. I began remembering there muscles and similar blond hair and blue eyes, they sort of all just mushed together in my head. None of them actually meaning much more then harmless dates and school dance escorts. But then there was Mike Newton, the latest "victim".

I suddenly cringed remembering the goodbye we had given to each other before I departed.

He stood on my doorstep, looking at me with the saddest eyes, and his face distorted with emotion. Yet some how he still looked like a model from the latest Hollister magazine.

I'm not even sure how I managed to get him. My plain hair and brown eyes didnt do much for the pretty department, though Mike always begged to deffer.

I couldn't help but think of how I'd have to start over now.

I'd be meeting new people. Yikes.

I'd be meeting new guys. I sighed.

This just wasn't what I expected.

Its not that i didnt want to come here. After all, my father barely came down to visit me since we moved so for a change I decided to come here. I was pretty much happy if everyone else was. And now that Renee was re-married and her anger towards Charlie was almost faded, I realised I needed to part away. She acted more like a teenager then I did.

I remember watching her fool around with Phil as his hands would always be on the back of her mini-skirts when they made out on the couch.

I knew they needed space as newly weds. And though my mom insisted I didn't have to leave, I chose to.

I walked towards the end of the station where their were empty seats. Sitting down I felt a lot more comfortable being on the complete opposite side of where the others were. From here no one looked at me and no one stared and I let my guard down just a bit.

I was about to reach into my bag and pull out my writing journal but I didn't feel like I could hold a pen stable in my grip if I tried.

Lights flickered above me as the wind kept blowing and then it suddenly hit me.

Oh God, I was back In Washington. To my dad who I hadn't seen in 3 years since his last visit. Back to the rain. Back to the where Jacob was. Where my childhood best friend who I never could forget lived.

My stomach turned and I couldn't help but to feel even more nervous. The almost non-existing contents in my stomach turned and I quickly looked around for a bathroom just in case.

I could see a sign the pointed to the side of the building leading to where the bathrooms were. So I quickly shoved my luggage under my seat, not so worried about it getting stolen and just picked up my handbag where all my important stuff was stored, and flung it on my shoulder. As I stood up the feeling grew within me, pounding on my chest and I didn't know when exactly I was going to throw up.

I walked to the side of the building where it was so dark and vacant and went inside the womens bathroom. Flicking on the lights, I went inside and instantly started heaving in the sink. I gagged and gave small chocking sound but nothing ever did come out. Frustrated I washed my mouth and moaned at the uneasy feeling in my chest that still wouldnt go away.

_Get a hold of yourself Bella..._

Looking into my reflection I could see the familiar dark circles under my eyes and I realised they were a lot more darker now. My eyes were red from the gagging and my lips were trembling from the feeling. I looked completely restless.

_Ughh. Crap._

I just continued to shiver, letting my skin crawl.

Just like the lights had outside, the light bulb inside the small simple bathroom began to flicker and before I could even curse, it completely shut off.

For some reason, all I could think about was how in the movies, something bad always happened when the lights flickered off. This didnt seem very promising to me.

I cursed under my breath and instantly started feeling around looking for my hand bag which contained everything I needed. I brushed my fingers on the counter, past puddles and sinks until I felt the long straps. Gripping it close to me, I began to look for the door.

I tripped on something as I made my way over and bumped my head on the door in front of me.

Oh that was going to leave a bruise.

Feeling around for the handle and finally pulling it open I practically stumbled out seeking for light and relief.

The night sky didnt do much for light as the moon hid behind rain filled clouds. But I still squinted around using the building wall to lead me to the open lot again.

I could easily see the light now and my thoughts began to drift to the stranger I had seen just a few minutes ago. I thought about where he may be going and who he was.

I only had about 4 steps to take so I could turn the dark corner, when I suddenly felt one large hard hand wrap around my mouth and another hand locked around my waist.

Instantly I lost my breath and the panic began to seep in. I screamed against the hand but no sounds came out.

_Oh God...What the fuck!_

**"Watching me, wanting me  
I can feel you pull me down"**

The grip around me was pulling me back and taking me to the back of the building. I could see everything around me getting darker and darker until I couldn't see nothing at all. The person began running and the wind rocked unnaturally hard against me as if we were moving fast.

I diding know where we were going but I had a feeling it was some where, where no one could hear me scream.

_No! Please God, NO!_

I mentally screamed and ranted while kicking and flinging my arms around me towards the figure, but the person wouldn't budge.

Whoever this was, wasnt letting go! The strength I had was leaving my body and now I could barely breathe.

I could only imagine what was happening at that moment. I was going to get killed. I was going to get rapped. Shit, Charlie was never going to see me! They wouldn't know what happened to my body. I was going to die!

I continued to scream in sheer panic and utter fear but still nothing came out. The more I flinged my body around in the embraced the harder the grip tightened. My torso was losing its breath, taking my energy the more I moved around wildly.

_Oh my God...!_

I closed my eyes trying to regain calmness but peace never came and I couldn't think straight. How could I do this? There was nothing I could use in my defense!

I still kicked around and tried to pry out the grip but still nothing happened. If anything I was losing strength.

_No! I had to keep fighting._

The only thing I could feel was darkness surrounding me and the hard grip that was leading me to my tragic fate. And just when I thought I couldnt breathe anymore I felt the grip loosen just a bit around me and the hand shifted around my mouth. I was about to scream my lungs out with everything I had when a sharp voice whispered in my ear.

"You scream, and I'll kill you instantly. Do you hear?" his voice rung like bells.

**"Long lost words whisper slowly to me"**

The hand once again clamped around my mouth and the opportunity was gone.

Oh fuck, I was going to die. Oh no no no no no! Renee and Charlie..oh God this is going to kill them. And I was never going to see Jacob again and....

Suddenly I was being shoved on to the floor. I tried to put up a fight with out giving in but another set of hands pushed down against me, shoving me onto my stomach. So there were two?! I opened my eyes and I could see I was in a very dim alley way where no other soul lingered by. I huffed and puffed around the hand trying to regain air.

Fear radiated from within me and I began to shake. Oh God..! NO!

I felt the hand unexpectedly move from my mouth. I quickly screamed loud and clear for a millisecond, ignoring the early threat and then before I knew it a bandanna was being tied around my mouth, stopping any further sounds from sneering through.

_This was it....!?_

"Didn't I tell you not to scream?" The cold, marble voice said. "Girls who don't listen, get bad punishments" the voice said, letting me hear the grin that he had plastered on his face. It didn't make sense how he could sound so appealing and beautiful.

And then I felt an icy hand crawling underneath my shirt looking for away to get closer to my breast.

_No! Please. Dont do this!_

**"Saving me, raping me  
Watching me"**

Still panicking, I wiggled around like a worm on the ground. Unmoving hands held me down preventing me from finding escape. I could literally feel the hope draining from my body.

I tried feeling around but I mist have dropped my hand bag somewhere along the way. I had nothing.

Before I could register what was happening, my hands were being tied behind my back, and all my movements were limited instantly.

The rope that binded my wrist, tightened and clawed into my skin.

A pressure inside me started to rush through my body.

I don't want to die! Somebody help me. Please! Let me GO!

"You smell so good, darling" the haunting voice said. "I just cant wait to drink your blood"

I had watched Vampire Diaries on CW enough to recognize lines like that.....was he..............no....what was going on..? I almost laughed....except I had never in my life been so terrified. Not when I got caught stealing when I was 11. Not when I was losing my virginity to Mike Newton....this was nothing like that. This was real. This is my life!

_Please....I dont want to die!_

I was quickly grabbed around the shoulders and pulled up onto my shaky feet. Then before I could try and fight off again I was rammed into a near by wall. The undeniable hard body hit my body so hard it felt like I was breaking.

My head swayed back and hit the hard brick so quick that it took a while for me to understand the forming pain.

It started off dim but soon enough my head was throbbing in revolt, protesting at such intensity. I instantly felt weak and dizzy and it didn't take long before I could feel a warm liquid ooze down my neck. Blood. My eyes closed and rolled to the back of my head as I smelled it secrete from the wound.

_Oh God...so dizzy...._

Cold and marble hands were now roaming around my stomach. They were large and rough, ungentle and definitely unwelcoming.

I tried yelling again, but all you could hear were the muffled sounds coming from my aching mouth.

Every vain in my body wanted to combust.

I was going to get abused. Raped. Hurt. Could I survive this? I didn't want to.

The bodies that were only blurs to me were now pulling on my pants. They were unbuttoning the only button and unzipping the only zipper.

No! Please...someone stop this.

I couldn't fight anymore. The smell of blood and the exhaustion was bringing me closer to unconsciousness.

I could hear grunts coming from the men who were touching me.

Hard fingers were raking against my sensitive slit through my underwear as I trembled in fear.

Then I knew that this was going to happen. I was going to get hurt.

"We are so lucky we found her. A pretty human with the best blood I've smelled in decades" A cold voice said. "I think we really should play with her"

The hyperventilating started. It didn't make sense!

I could feel the blood pooling on my collar and I desperately tried to get a hold of my self. The only thing I could feel though, were the hands violating my body, trying to get within my pants and up my shirt. I shivered and tried to shy away from the hands but they were both practically towering over me against the wall.

I moaned against the rag on my mouth, desperatly trying to protest.

I was about to kick blindly in front of me when suddenly out of no where, something whipped by me and then I couldn't feel the hands on my anymore. I heard a load crash go off, as if lightning crashed against the earth.

I didnt feel anyone pressed up against me anymore. They were gone as if the wind blew them away with the thin air.

Suddenly I heard another crash and it was quickly followed by ripping sounds. I heard cracks like bones breaking but I didn't know if they could be that loud. I still refused to look but I could feel the ground shake from beneath me. I was paralyzed and mesmerized with what I heard around me. I was scared and terrified at what I'd see if I did.

Their were screams and grunts and yelling and obvious pain.

And after about a minute of agonizing sounds, then there was silence.

I heard a flicker of something, like leaves grazing against the ground, or a match lighting.

I had to see. I needed to know what was going on around me. So I breathed in and tried to regain strength, facing fear in the face.

I opened my eyes and tried to take in my vivid surroundings. Quickly I noticed that my attackers had disappeared. I had expected that....

Looking around in panic, trying to untie the binding on my wrist my eyes fell on a scorching fire that lit up at the end of the alley. Standing by fire my eyes caught on the figure.

I watched a figure.

Mesmerized.

**"Still can't find what keeps me here"**

His back was towards me but I could easily see the inevitable curves of his shoulders and the tousles of his hair. Tousles that were gold and lit up almost red in the dim light.

I instantly recognized him. He was the gorgeous man from lot encounter I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

Tearing my gaze from him I looked back into the fire. It didnt take long before I shaped out an arm burning inside the flames.

_Oh God, wait....a hand!_

My eyes moved back to the man.

_Had he saved me?_

He had taken down two figures in a second. He had pushed them off of me so fast that I couldnt even register it.

Some how they were....dead? Ripped up to pieces?

I gulped and try to breath processing this, but I was successful. This time I was sure I was going to vommit.

He couldnt be......a man.

Seeing my attackers...gone, I let out a unsure breath.

"Alice had been right....she was coming here. She was going to get hurt." His smooth voice saidin agony.

_............What?_

Right before I could blink the gorgeous man turned and headed towards me.

In reflex as the gorgeous man approached, I took steps back, letting my back meet the wall once again.

The closer he got, the more his featured were recognizable. He was beautiful.

Oh my...he was also a murderer!

No this isnt why I came to Washington...why? Why me!

Fear began to illuminate every corner of my being once again. I just count take this.

I flinched as his footsteps got closer, fearing his presence so near me.

His face fell as he saw my expression towards him and slowed into a stroll holding his hands up, trying to let me know he wasnt going to hurt me.

My head was telling me it was okay. It was telling me that he had saved me and that it was safe. But my instincts were telling me that danger was still around and my stomach turned in trying to figure out which one to listen to.

Sadly I didn't have the time to try and figure it out because soon enough he was near.

He stood infront of me with a bewildered expression.

I crushed my body closer to the wall, standing on my toes. The wound in my head protested on the pressure and I winced at the pain, trying to wrap myself around it.

"I wont hurt you" His voice came out soft and like velvet.

Like a song.

Like honey.

I instantly relaxed, planting my feet of the ground and let out a deep breath. My chest visually stopped huffing so hard.

He recognized my comfort and lifted his hands, reaching for my face. I didn't have time to block him.

I couldnt deny the scent that emmanated from him. It was sweet and delicious, mixing in with the smell of my blood. I inhaled it deeply, welcoming it within me. It felt like the perfect distraction from the throbbing in the back of my head.

My head eventually won. He was....safe. I trusted myself with simply that.

Before I knew it, cold hands were brushing past my cheeks towards the back of my head, letting me shiver slightly as his fingers quickly untied the bandana around my mouth.

My breath cought. Bloody murder......

It didn't even take a second before I felt it fall, releasing my mouth and lips. And then his hands were moving away from my face, leaving a trail of goose bumps. It felt like he let his fingers linger longer then needed.

The whole time, an intense glare lived in his eyes. They were a dark gold, anxious and unreadable.

While I flexed my mouth, trying to get use to moving it again, the man looked at his hands.

Following his gaze I could see dark red liquid wrapping around his fingers. My blood was now smeared around his hands and right before my eyes those hands began to tremble.

I didn't know weather I should be horrified, but that's all I felt when I looked up at the mans expression.

His eyes were now impossibly black and his featured were frozen like stone. His chest began to rise deeply and a growling sound reminated from the back of his throat.

I heard a growl come from him and the grinding of teeth. His eyes were almost lits at they looked at his hands.

The only word for how he looked was; inhuman.

In panic once again I tired to unbind my hands, but the rope wouldn't budge. The man in front of me was growing more and more.... monstrous infront of me and I still couldn't wrap my head around anything.

My insticts were telling me to run but I couldnt feel anything. Not my legs. Not my feet. Just fear. And the cold. And the throbbing in my head.

And right before I could even think about doing something else, the man in front of me pressed against my body in one quick fluid movement. The length of his body mashed against mine, pressing me against the wall. A shrill of emotion washed threw my body. He was cold. He was delightful.

He was craving me. Holding onto me like...he needed me.

I wanted to scream as loud as I could but my vocal cords didn't work.

I felt the side of his cheek press against mine. Our heads juxtaposed.

My heart began pounding and it started to feel like I was re-living the attack all over again.

My mind formed into an ocean. Waves and waves of confusion and fear raked over me and nothing was making sense. It was all just on over drive. My breath hitched and my blood began to rush in reflex to the similar scenery unfolding in front of me.

It just didnt make sense. Why would he save me? Only to....hurt me?

All I could do was visually watch and hear the creature pressed against me, breathing hard and deep like me. As if her were fighting off...some internal demon or something.

"your...blood" He gasped out. Once again it sounded like velvet.

**"Hunting you I can smell you, alive  
Your heart pounding in my head"**

And it still didn't make sense. Was he nauseated by it like I was? Did it affect him in a way that I didn't know about? Was he a.....

I suddenly felt his cold hands wrap around me, but I was frozen. I turned to look at his face, so beautiful and captivating and I realised I didnt want to run.

My mind told me death was beuatiful if it came from him.

But everything else was telling me I had to get away. I had to make it. For Charlie. For Renee. For my life.

His hands were snaked around my small waist and emotions I didn't understand ran through me like a river.

His breath was tickeling on my neck and I could feel him inhaling my scent as if he were feeding off if it.

_Please........._

I felt his icy hands lock around me and just when I thought he wasn't going to let go, I felt the rope on my wrist fall to the ground like rain fell from the sky.

The binding was gone and my hands were released. They fell to my sides, but I still couldn't move.

I then suddenly felt his nose rake against the skin of my neck and the goose bumps formed like flowers blossoming in the spring.

I breathed out.

I blinked.

I breathed in

And the gorgeous man was suddenly across the lot.

Far away from me.

Leaving in an inhuman speed.

That's all I needed in confirmation. He wasn't human. I could accept that easily. Maybe it was the restlessness that didnt let me panic at this, or the pain that throbbed through me. But it was easy.

Some how I found strength within me and bent down to pick up the bandanna.

I quickly ran it over the back of my head and covered up the blood. I tried my best to try and conceal it within the rag.

My eyes never left from the pale man across the lot and I could see that he relaxed at the gesture.

His eyes were still as dark as the pits of hell, but he didn't look angry. He now looked remorseful. Upset. Disappointed. But you couldnt ignore the crazed look on his face. He seemed like he was trying to regain a tantalizing control.

That was another thing I didnt understand.

My mind couldn't understand anything!

I was about to die tonight. Probably twice in a row. The pain in my head was devouring into my thoughts. The gorgeous man. He was....and this was....he scared them away. And he unbinded me. And he was beautifully inhuman. And my bag...and...they died..and...his touch. I had felt him inhale on me like a drug...blood......

It was too much.

I couldn't think straight. There was a heavy feeling melting into my brain, filling me with comfort and rest. Unconsciousness.

I gave in. I snapped. I collapsed.

The cold was gone. The pain was gone. Under my eye lids a small dark boy, was holding my hand in his warm one, telling me it was going to be ok. Jacob.

"Bella!" I heard the gorgeous man call out to me.

It was a song in the wind.

I felt him next to me in a millisecond, trying to hold me up in his cold arms.

But everything went black.

**"Watching me, wanting me  
I can feel you pull me down  
Fearing you, loving you  
I wont let you pull me down"**

* * *

**So YES. I brought in the vampires. No worries, the situation will be explained very soon. I hope you guys aren't disappointed. Update very soon since it took me a while to post this one.**

**REVIEW?!!!!!!!!!!!! pleashhhh!**


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